I’m starting the year on empty. A little sad. A little sorry. A little blah.
There is more being asked of me than I feel like I have to give. Work, family, friends, even the cat – all needing their share. Leaving me feeling used up, run down, and generally unbalanced.
Have you ever felt this way?
I didn’t see it coming this time. I’ve been here before, so you’d think I would catch it early, course correct, and find the motivation to carry me past this blah place and on to where I really want to be going.
Quite a let-down after ending 2011 with great expectations. And it’s only January 8th!
So, in stolen bits of time – daydreaming while the kids play in the bath, a lunch date with myself after running errands – I came to one important, and very simple conclusion:
I need a plan.
I need to take the big ideas for 2012 and make them into something concrete and doable. And I need to take small steps to avoid overload and see quick, positive changes. I’m going to take the next few weeks or so to get clear and get specific.
But this will be my guiding question:
What are you creating?
There are two sides to change – creation and destruction – and I’ve written a bit about this before. When something new is created, something else comes to an end.
To make lasting change, I need to acknowledge what must end to make space for the new. This will mean ending old habits that don’t serve me. It means clearing out the (mental and physical) stuff that clutters my vision and sucks up my time.
Little things add up.
Have you heard of the Butterfly Effect? The notion that one small change (the flap of a butterfly’s wings) can have a huge impact elsewhere (a hurricane develops on the other side of the globe). I was reminded of this idea today and it was a welcomed affirmation that small changes can have big results.
The Butterfly Effect gives me permission to realize important changes in increments. I read recently that people tend to overestimate what they can accomplish in a day, and underestimate what they can do in a year. Making a series of small changes can reverse that equation.
What am I creating?
Initially, I am creating an action plan. A collection of small actions that will change my attitude, my surroundings, my relationships.
Ultimately, I’m creating a way of life that …
[stay tuned!]
I had composed a long reply using my life as an example but, eh.
I’m feeling this too. Maybe it’s a midlife thing. Certainly a winter-grays thing. I wish the New Year came in June, it’s easier to start something new in June.
From the Effective Jerk perspective, I wonder if other people are asking things of you or if you are asking them of yourself on others’ behalf. Maybe you can let a lot of people & obligations dangle, why not? The essence of focus is saying No.
Paul, A little of this and of that.
I have not won any prizes for delegating responsibilities and you may be onto something with who is doing the asking. I’m already finding a few things that can dangle. It actually starts to get kind of fun.
Also, this CANNOT be a midlife thing. I am going to live to be 100!
My second most important purpose for this blog is to share stuff that other people may also be feeling so if nothing else they don’t feel alone. I feel like our culture raises us up to be strong and independent and to never admit shortcomings or fears. Which has led me to feel terribly alone at times.
The new year is an arbitrary date in the scheme of things, but still holds so much power and promise to be better, or at least different.
Thank you, as always for sharing a little something here. Even if you are an Effective Jerk!
we didn’t make any “resolutions” for the new year, so as not to let ourselves down!! but we’ve known for years we need to do some basic life maintenance and these are on my to-do list for 2012. thanks for reminding me that the small changes count and to make a plan!!